live and be grateful...

Retiring this blog

2009-07-06T10:41:00.002-04:00

I am officially retiring this blog. I just don't have the time for it. I am trying to focus my energy and attention towards my photography, so I will be updating my relaxedfitphotography.blogspot.com with the latest happenings with my photography venture.

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog!
Heather

Life according to Cole @ 3

2009-06-02T09:46:00.004-04:00

Cole is very entertaining at this age. He is so full of spunk and attitude. He is still all about me, which I know will change quickly.

Here are some things about Cole at this age:

Chicken Donalds or Chicken Burger= McDonalds

Hasa Birthday To You= Happy Birthday To You (I heard this one in the car while he was singing the Happy Birthday song to himself. I suggested that the word was "Happy" and not "Hasa" and he told me I was wrong :)

Favorite Movies: Toy Story, Chicken Little, Monsters, Inc.

Favorite TV Shows: Backyardigans, Little Einsteins, Mickey Mouse and Blue's Clues

Favorite Activities: Blowing bubbles, playing with his cars, driving his big wheels, Going on adventures

185

2009-05-20T16:03:00.002-04:00

Body image is a funny thing, it can really consume a person's thoughts. That person being ME! My weight as of today is 185, my weight before I had Clay was 155 and my weight after college on a professional dance team was 140. I am 38 years old and don't want to spend the rest of my life worrying about what I weigh. It seems to be a constant struggle. Do most people worry about this all the time? It seems sad to me. The next phase has begun. I am going to participate in the USMC Mud Run (www.usmcmudrun.com) in September. It's 4.2 miles, 30 obstacles and I don't want to let my team down. So, I have a goal now. I want to be stronger. I want to be leaner and I want to beat this obsession once and for all. I have been saying that I want to be in the best shape of my life by age 40, but why can't it be by age 39. I make the rules and I control my actions. I started on Monday 5/18 and I will continue to document my journey.

A friend of mine had a daily calendar that covered the principles of "The Secret". He gave me the pages when he was done. I was going through them choosing the ones that spoke to me and throwing the others out. I found one that I have been repeating lately. Think good thoughts, speak good words and take good actions. Simple enough don't you think.

Evolve

2009-05-19T13:19:00.003-04:00

Caution, Random Thoughts:
Lots going on with me mentally. Hard to put it all down on this blog. There are so many emotions going on inside of me. I think I am having my midlife crisis prematurely. Although I don't perceive it as a bad thing. I just feel like I am on a journey and sometimes I would like to stop and take a rest. However, something inside of me won't let me. I am constantly thinking and questioning and evolving. Here is a quote from Oprah that spoke to me, "The whole point of being alive is to evolve into the complete person your were intended to be."

Affirmations

2009-05-15T08:36:00.001-04:00

Haven't felt much like writing lately....

Here is a thought for today.

Affirmations for Release:
I am willing to release my old patterns of fear and insecurity. Today, I embrace confidence. I am willing to release my old patterns of lack and limitations. Today, I embrace the universal abundance. I am willing to release my old patterns of weakness and dependency. Today, I embrace energy and strength. I am willing to release my old patterns of negativity. Today, I see the world filled with creative opportunities. My life is renewed through the cycle of release and acceptance.

Life

2009-04-30T22:24:00.003-04:00

so many possibilities
full of promise
full of change
rapid in it's pace
subjective
fulfilling
disappointing
varied by perception
unpredictable
spectacular
surprising in it's gifts
gives back what is put in
passes by whether you participate of not
provides infinite lessons for those willing to learn

The Beach

2009-04-25T15:14:00.002-04:00

I am fascinated that my husband made more friends in one year at UNC- Pembroke than I did in 4 years at UNC-Charlotte. We are at the beach this weekend for Pea-Dad's fraternity beach weekend and it is BEAUTIFUL. We have an awesome ocean front room for a great rate. One snag, Cole is not a big fan of the beach. I hadn't really thought too much about it, but this is Cole's first visit to the beach since he was a baby. As soon as the sand hit his bare feet, he started crying. Whose kid is he??? Pea-Dad and I both love the beach and hope to someday have a house at the beach. I love putting a low chair right at the edge of the ocean and letting the water hit my feet while I soak up the sun. I like the wet sand squishing through my toes and I like making sand castles. It's just so foreign to me that he doesn't like it. He has spent the bulk of his time with Pea-Dad in the indoor pool while Clay and I have been out on the beach.

Tonight is a big shrimp boil which I can't wait for. NOT! I am not a big fan of shrimp, but the corn on the cob and the potatos should be good. We will most likely leave early afternoon tomorrow, so I am going to try to get up early and soak up the beauty of the beach.

Caution, random thought. Why don't people talk a whole lot about how hard it is to be a parent? Are people ashamed to admit that being a parent isn't always a blessing or a joy?? I think there should be classes in high school and/or college that teach patience, sacrifice, creativity and organization in parenting.

Embrace Change

2009-04-17T05:28:00.002-04:00

Embrace change is a phrase I believe my mother taught me and it has served me well. Through out my life I have referred to this phrase often. My work environment is changing, people have been let go, positions have been moved around. Although I feel that I adapt to change well, I still have a headache. Change can be stressful. I joked with my boss recently that I am working on developing a hard outer shell. I am know as the emotional one, which I don't think is a good perception for people to have of me. It is however, who I am. I am an emotional and empathetic person, maybe sometimes to a fault. Although I don't think I want this to change, I do want to do a better job of controlling those feelings at work. We'll see what happens...

Post Easter

2009-04-14T15:27:00.003-04:00

A nice Easter weekend has come and gone with only one causality. Poor Coley took a face dive on Sunday and now looks like he went 12 rounds with the pavement. We went to church on Sunday, had a spaghetti dinner (yes, I cooked) and colored Easter eggs.

Now, on to Gratitude....Cole is in the midst of potty training and it is going OK. He is having some number 2 accidents and it has been a bit frustrating. I have not shown my frustration to Cole, but it has me worried. He moved to his new room at school yesterday, so he is now in the red room. His teacher does not seem to be worried about the potty training, so I am trying to have a relaxed attitude about things. I called Dr. Morton's office yesterday and talked to Kathy the nurse. She said that what Cole is experiencing is completely normal for Hirschsprung's patients. The mind body connection is usually not in place until about 4 years old. So, I am trying not to lump him in as the same as all other kids but I also want to know what to expect. This brings me to Gratitude. Mentally I am trying not to spiral into a worry pit about what Cole is going to have to go through. The nurse mentioned that some kids that start school with this problem have to have an enema every night so they don't have accidents at school. Again...spiraling. This is when I really need to have a grateful mind and heart. When did I lose sight of the fact that he no longer has a colostomy bag. I am grateful for every bit of poop that comes out of the right spot. Grateful mind and grateful heart....always!

My Nike + Challenge

2009-04-09T11:41:00.002-04:00

I LOVE my latest gadget. I bought a new pair of Nike's and they have a sensor in the bottom of the left shoe. I then take the partner to the sensor and plug it into my iPod Nano. Once I plug in the receiver, the Nike+ menu appears on my iPod and can track my running/walking workout. Once I am done, I plug my Nano into my computer and my workout is uploaded to the Nike+ website where I can track my progress. I HATE running, but this little gadget might just get me to run/jog on a regular basis. I even joined a challenge on the website to go 20 miles in one week. I started yesterday and completed 2 miles. I better get going if I am going to accomplish 20 miles by next Wednesday!

Check it out:
http://nikeplus.nike.com/nikeplus/?sitesrc=uslp

Art that happens to be my life

2009-04-02T16:07:00.003-04:00

This is the title of a 12 week online class that I just started today. I am so excited to explore my creativity in the class. As I have mentioned in previous posts, I am on the verge. Of what you might ask, and I can not say. There are so many wonderful things going on in my life and I am trying to focus on those things instead of "sweating the small stuff". Here is a quote from my class that spoke to me today:

That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the task itself has become easier, but that our ability to perform it has improved. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

My Weekend

2009-03-31T05:32:00.004-04:00

First I will start out by saying, "Thanks Mom". It was nice to have a mini-moon this weekend with Pea-Dad. Jessica's wedding was beautiful, but spending time alone with Pea-Dad was the best part. Knowing I could be home in 15 minutes if I needed to, also made it a little less stressful for me. It would not have been possible without my mom. I know it is not easy to manage 4 kids (includes the puppy) especially when you only had one. I know it's hard to maintain your patience when there is snot, poop and whining everywhere you turn. Thanks again for making this weekend possible!

(my mom)

Knowing

2009-03-30T13:27:00.002-04:00

The title of this post just floated into my mind. It is part of a thought or a feeling that I am trying to inhabit. A knowing belief in myself that I am capable. A knowing that I will achieve the things that I want to, but that it takes time. A knowing that I will be OK... I am smart enough and good enough to do what is right for myself and for my family. This feeling, this anxious being that I have become is the foreshadowing of greater me that I will BE.

Life

2009-03-23T10:51:00.000-04:00

What a busy and great weekend we had. Saturday morning had us at a Disney themed birthday party. Jodi is such a talented party thrower. Everything was coordinated so nicely and the kids had a blast.

Saturday afternoon was Clay's first minor league game. It's a little nerve racking with the kids pitching to each other. We lost by one run, but it was good to see him out there. He is still all knees and elbows, but he held his own on the field.

Sunday brought us another adventure with Natalie and Radar. Latta Plantation was so beautiful and the weather was perfect for a long hike through the woods. I was telling someone at work about it and he said, "YOU, went into the woods???". I know that's Natalie's thoughts as well, but it is important to me that the boys get out there and hike and have fun "adventures". I appreciate you Natalie and that you tolerate and encourage our adventures!

Today is Monday and the first day of the rest of my life... Hopefully this little beauty will be in my future. The Canon 5D, I WANT ONE! For just a mere $2,000 it could me mine and all that a full frame digital SLR can bring me :)

My 20 year olf self...

2009-03-19T15:09:00.001-04:00

One of the "Inspired" ladies offered a give away on her blog. You had to leave a comment about what you would tell your 20 year self.

Here is what I would tell my 20 year old self...
1. Always say what you mean and mean what you say.
2. Your actions teach people how to treat you.
3. Don't be afraid to admit when your wrong.
4. Accept responsibility if you make a mistake and then move on.
5. If you have a bad feeling about something, it's probably not a good idea.
6. The word NO is a sentence and sometimes no further explanation is needed.
7.Communicate, communicate, communicate. The people around you are not mind readers.
8. Learn and live by the law of attraction
9. Saying the words "I'm sorry" does not mean you are a weak person.
10. Be nice even when you don't feel like it.
11. Stand up for what you believe is right even if it is not popular.
12. Don't let yourself be mistreated
13. Love without fear of loss

Centergy and stuff

2009-03-18T07:33:00.000-04:00

I had 13 people in my Centergy class last night and even 2 men. It was great to have that many people in the room trying to increase their strength and flexibility. I am hoping the number continue to increase.

Received my critiques back on Assignment 1 over at www.ppsop.net. I am taking the "Portraits Unplugged" class and it's pretty interesting. It's all about seeing the light and using just your natural light source. Very challenging for me.

Speaking of natural light, here are a few photos I took of our little friend Megan.

What do your initials say about you? (Thanks Natalie)

2009-03-13T13:24:00.001-04:00

You Are Strong and Independent

When You Are Comfortable:

You are a powerful, competitive person. While you want to succeed, you are also able to find balance in your life.

People see you as self-sufficient. They are impressed by how much you are able to do on your own.

When You Are At Your Best:

You are a strong person. You're driven and assertive. Success is yours, as much as you want it.

People find you to be clever and spirited. You're a bit saucy too... delightfully so!

When You Are in a Social Setting:

You are a carefree, adventurous person. You love excitement, and you enjoy being in a changing, dynamic environment.

People find you to be funny, generous, and competent. You're well spoken, and you know how to wow people with your words.

What Do Your Initials Say About You?

Girl Moods

2009-03-12T08:24:00.000-04:00

Sometimes it is so clearly illustrated to me that men are fixers. They want to make things better and solve all the problems so you can be happy again. Last night when Tori came home she was in a grumpy mood. Her day had just not gone well. She went immediately in the shower and when she got out, Pea-Dad must have asked her 50 different ways what was wrong. She was very vague and just kept saying nothing really. I finally went to him and said "leave her alone". She clearly didn't want to talk about in and when I spoke to her this morning it was really just a "Girl Mood". I know a bit stereotypically, but I'm not sure men can understand that we sometimes are just in a mood.

Fun Times...NOT

2009-03-10T12:46:00.000-04:00

So, I am spending the day in the hospital with Pea-Dad. He had some tightening in his chest late yesterday afternoon that really scared him. I was on my way home with Cole, so his brother took him up to the emergency room. He was admitted and has been undergoing tests since last night. No one seems to know what is going on and it is very frustrating..AAaaaarrrrggghhh
It seems very suspicious to me that he breaks out in this terrible rash 2 days ago, has the hershey squirts and then gets tightening in his chest. Is this the perfect storm or what???

I love my life! During trying times is when it is most important to reflect on what is good in your life.

Geocaching you ask...

2009-03-09T09:08:00.000-04:00

What a beautiful and fun weekend minus Pea-Dad getting some weird rash and the poops. Ok, back to the great weekend. After having the plague in our house, it was so nice to open all of the windows get the fans going and Lysol and Clorox wipe in a frenzy. Cole, Tink and I walked up to the baseball field and watched the tail end of Clay's first baseball practice of the season. We then had a visit from Natalie, Lance and Radar who introduced us to Geocaching. It was our fun yet brief adventure to find some treasure. The boys had a blast and Cole kept saying he wanted to go on another adventure. Want to know more about Geocaching, go to www. geocaching.com.

Sunday I was fortunate enough to visit baby Megan and take some really cute shots of her. I will be posting some later. I also started a new blog (although no content yet) for Relaxed Fit Photography. I think I will post most of my photography fun there. I am a work in progress and this is just one more step in realizing my better creative self.

Grateful for my life and for another day on earth :)

Haze

2009-03-05T07:27:00.000-05:00

I have been in a haze since Friday. Cole has been very sick with a virus and let's just say it hasn't been pretty! Here we are on Thursday and he is still not 100% yet. I am still participating in the Project 52 challenge over at jenwilsondesigns.com. I love the community over there as they are so supportive and encouraging. Here are a couple of layouts from the last two weeks.

Quote of the Day

2009-02-25T13:06:00.001-05:00

"The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one. "- Mark Twain

Today this quote is really speaking to me.

Resilience

2009-02-19T12:21:00.000-05:00

Today over at http://spraguelab.squarespace.com/, I am trying to win a free class. In order to be in the running for the free class, you had to post a link to your favorite photo and tell why. This was an easy choice for me. This picture of Cole is from March 14, 2007. This is the day after he got out of the hospital after his 5th and final surgery and it is the day before his 1st birthday. The stuffed animal is one he received in the hospital from a group of high school kids that were visiting the children in the hospital. The purpose of this photo shoot was to send a picture with a thank you note to the kids, which I did. However, this photo turned out to mean so much more to me as I look at it periodically. It is a reminder of all we went through as well as a reminder of how resilient children are. You would never know by looking at this picture all that Cole endured to get to this point. His amazing spirit is so evident to me and his smile reminds me what an incredible creation he is.

More Project 52

2009-02-18T08:24:00.000-05:00

I am so loving this challenge over at Jen Wilson Designs. It is really helping me document moments and stories. I have printed them out and created an album which makes it more tangible for me. I have enjoyed posting my layout in the Jen Wilson gallery as well as the Jessica Sprague gallery. Let me tell you, if you are every feeling down, just post something in a gallery and you get lots of positive comments. It's amazing how generous people are with kind words in this hobby. I really enjoy reading what people write even if it's only a few words. I have made an effort to start commenting on more layouts because I want someone else to have those same feelings. So in the spirit of kind comments, I would like to encourage everyone to go out into the world and say nice things to people. I am going to follow that plan myself!

Valentines Day and Gratitude

2009-02-13T11:15:00.000-05:00

OK, so if you haven't noticed I've stopped adding lists of things I am grateful for. I have decided to elaborate more on specific things than on creating a list. One of the things I am most grateful for is my choice of husbands. I really picked a good one and I am eternally grateful for that. Sometimes I am amazed that with all of my poor relationship choices in the past, I was able to get this one right. Everything isn't always sunshine and roses, but I know without a doubt he loves me and has made some major compromises in our marriage to make me happy. With Valentines day tomorrow and all of the focus and pressure to do something great for your loved one, I can sit back and relax in the knowing that nothing additional is required of me. As corny as it sounds, everyday is Valentines day. Not always a roses and candy Valentines day, sometimes just a kiss or an I love you kind of Valentines day, but a Valentines day none the less. Today, go out an celebrate life and your loved one even though it is NOT Valentines day yet :)

Almost 9!

2009-02-09T09:47:00.000-05:00

I love this picture of Clay. It is hard to believe he is almost 9 years old. It seems like just yesterday I was bringing him home from the hospital. Making all my rookie parenting mistakes with him. He is really an incredible person. So smart, creative and talented. He is at an age right now where everything is a test. Pushing limits is his specialty. Sometimes I feel like I am failing miserably at being his mother. I look at this picture of him and think what an amazing creation.

This is the year...

2009-01-27T08:29:00.000-05:00

This is the year to do! I am really trying to focus on collecting less and doing more. With that in mind, I am participating in the Project 52 challenge over at http://www.jenwilsondesigns.com/. She is one of my favorite digital scrapbooking designers and I have purchased quite a bit of her designs in the past. I have not used them to actually scrap anything, but I have COLLECTED quite a bit. So by participating in this challenge, it is forcing me to DO one digital layout a week. The creative team provides the parameters for the layout and I have to post my layout in two galleries. The best part is there is a deadline each week that I have to stick to. I have completed 2 weeks so far in this 13 week challenge. So without further ado, here are week 1 & 2 layouts.

Next on the agenda is my trip to San Francisco for work. I leave tomorrow and will not be back until Saturday afternoon. Long flight, but great city!

Now for all things awesome in my life:

Thank you husband for being you

Thank you mother for an awesome visit (and pictures)

Thank you new puppy for continuing to bring us happiness (and poop where it shouldn't be)

Thank you job for helping us pay our bills

Thank you gym for being there even though I have been avoiding you

Thank you friends for being there even when we don't talk everyday

Thank you Crystal Light for making Peach Tea

Thank you Cameron for making my 2009 word necklace

Thank you GOD

Just wanted to share

2009-01-23T17:03:00.001-05:00

Tinkerbell is now 3lbs!

2009

2009-01-15T09:41:00.000-05:00

Wow, it's been a week and 2 days since my last post. Time seems to be flying by so fast.
Today, I have been thinking about what this year will hold for me. I continue to be surrounding by a feeling of change. I feel like I am on the cusp of major creative changes in my life. On the Yahoo Inspired group, we have been sharing what our word for 2009 is. The word I have chosen is "Aspire". This word seemed to jump out at me in my head. It seemed to encompass my feelings of wanting more. I would like to fulfill my potential this year. I want to feel like I have accomplished something at the end 2009. I want to reflect and be proud of my accomplishments. I want to feel more settled in my own skin instead of feeling a restless intensity that seems to be boiling just under the surface.

Always thankful for....

My husband
My children
My dogs
Phish Food ice cream
Candy Hearts
Nestle Hot Chocolate w/mini marshmallows
Project 52 (http://thecreativelife.typepad.com/blog/2009/01/project-52-week-one.html)
Digital Photography School (http://digital-photography-school.com/?awt_l=7vPHS&awt_m=1bMpxUbB4LkfGf)
All things Fleece!
The Gayle King Show on XM Radio

Happy New Year!

2009-01-06T08:44:00.000-05:00

Welcome 2009! I know this is going to be a year of change, a renaissance. It has been a little while since I posted and a lot has happened in the last couple of weeks. Christmas has come and gone and in a very peaceful way. Pea-Dad is now off of his walker and on to using a cane. He still can not drive but has been getting around with the help of some friends and family. We added a new addition to our family and her name is Tinkerbell. She is a Shih-Poo mix and weighs only 1.5 lbs. We brought her home on 1/2 and have been spoiling her ever since.

Cole also had an adventure over the holiday break that included a total of 11 stitches. I am amazed that Clay has made it through 8 years with no stitches and Cole is 2 and has now had 11 stitches (I am not counting the 5 surgeries in the first year of his life :). I would like to continue to recognize the things that I am grateful for in every post of 2009. I think it helps me to remind me how lucky I am.

Full of Gratitude For:

Our new puppy
A husband's healing hip (like the alliteration)
My health
Oprah's Best Life Week
My 2009 Word
My creative spirit
Popcorn
Chocolate
Group Power
Bubbles (and the distraction they provide during a 2 year old's stressfull visit to the emergency room)
Kind doctors who show patience when training their interns (emerg. room visit)
Aunt Annette (nana-ette)
Red cream soda

Christmas

2008-12-23T14:48:00.000-05:00

The 23rd, really??? Is Christmas only 2 days away. We have really scaled back this year and I think I am a bit more relaxed because of it. No credit card debt this year because of Christmas, woohooo!

I received the photo books from my very first maternity shoot yesterday. I was really pleased with the result. I ordered one book to give to Rochelle (the subject) as a gift and I got a free smaller version to keep. The small book is almost like a mini portfolio. I really enjoyed taking the pictures and I hope she enjoys the end result as much. The possibilities are endless!

Feeling thankful for:

Target
Chipotle Grill burrito bowls
Cherry Cordial Kisses
Mp3 Panda- .20 cent song downloads!
Robin Thicke
puppies
My Sony point and shoot camera that lives in my purse
My new set of hot rollers
Headbands (for bad hair days)

Sundays

2008-12-21T20:25:00.000-05:00

Church, Teach Centergy, Football, Referee Kids... This is my Sunday. First was the Christmas Cantata at our church with Tori singing. The church was packed and it was a pleasant program. Next, teaching Centergy at the gym. Only 2 attendees, but I enjoyed the class. Each time, I look forward to it more and more. I have spent the remainder of the day editing photos from Las Vegas. Click on the photo below to view them all.

From Vegas Baby!

Sweating the small stuff? I try not too, just grateful for...

My life
My husband
My kids
My mother
My laptop
My friends
My video camera
My digital SLR
My son's Mini Twix bars
My Cheese popcorn hiding in the pantry

Bolt

2008-12-20T23:44:00.000-05:00

The title today has many meanings. Bolt is the name of the movie we took the kids to see today. Bolt is what Cole did after the first 15 minutes of the movie. Fortunately, there weren't many people around us and we were in the handicap seats for Pea-Dad. I guess he is still a bit too young for the movies. Bolt is what I want to do sometimes when the weight of everything seems too much. Being an only child gave me a sense of comfort in my solitude. I like the time by myself and there is little of it these days. Sometimes, changing diapers, stopping kids from fighting, doing laundry, getting something for my walker bound husband can all be a bit overwhelming. I am not complaining, simply stating facts. I think that is one of the reasons this blog is becoming more important to me. It is a place where I can remind myself how lucky I am. Do I really want to Bolt? No, I know how good my life is and that these challenges will pass and I will miss the times when I changed diapers.

Grateful for...

Technology and my new blog header
Photoshop
Jessica Sprague classes
My camera
Netflix
Pizza Hut
Christmas lights
Life
Movie popcorn
Anything covered in fleece

A Shower

2008-12-19T14:32:00.000-05:00

Funny title, huh?? I just wanted to talk about the importance of a shower in the morning. I have been getting very little sleep since Pea-Dad's surgery, so my mornings are pretty foggy. I was not able to get a shower yesterday morning, so I was not only tired, but I also felt pretty gross. My day pretty much felt the same way. It was a tired and yucky day! Today however is a very different day! Pea-Dad took 2 pain pills last night so he slept, which meant I slept. Woohoo! I was able to get up, get a shower and get all 3 kids off to school and daycare. Got to work and my attitude has been much better. So, in all fairness to sleep, the difference was a shower and defintely more sleep. Not a lot more, but enough to make a difference. Starting to feel more like myself. I cancelled my Weight Watchers membership today. $40 a month that I don't need to spend. I know what to do and I just need to do it and save the $480 a year! I can spend that money on more creative pursuits.

I thank my lucky stars for....

Good Friends
Crystal Light Peach Tea
My new "For the Love of Nie" t-shirt
Creative Pursuits
The Inspired Inchie swap
Good Pain Killers for My Hubby
My 2 year old speaking clearer
Food made by others
My Little Pony (blinking figure)
Centergy (http://www.bodytrainingsystems.com/pages/bts_programs/GroupCentergy.htm)

Day 10

2008-12-08T14:28:00.000-05:00

Back from Vegas, woohoo! We had a very enjoyable time, but I was so ready to come home. I couldn't wait to see the kids and just hug each one of them. It is nice to have a little time with Pea-Dad alone, but after about a day, we are sooo ready to see them again. I am glad I was able to take PD to Vegas but I think it would have made more sense to wait until after the hip surgery. Anyway, it's done and surgery is Wednesday. I am so hoping he will finally get some relief.

Lately, I have been feeling the need to do something... take pictures, write, something creative. Making the time seems to be the challenge, finding ways to stimulate the creative side of my brain before it dies. Struggling, knowing there is more to me and trying to express it. Feeling on the precipice of something, but not sure what?

Knowing I am lucky to have:

A great husband
Wonderful children
A job I love
A roof over my head
Food to feed my family
An open mind
Good Neighbors
GPS
My Mommy
A candy apple in my refrigerator

Things I miss:
My Dad

Day 9

2008-12-02T13:58:00.001-05:00

SO LUCKY, my feeling for today. I can't explain it, but I feel hopeful today, excited, ready for new challenges. My family is in good health, my job is challenging and going well and I am headed to Vegas in 2 days! Woohoo! Tonight is Clay's holiday program at school and I am sad that I will have to miss it. I am getting Pea-Dad to video, and I think Clay will enjoy watching me watch him even though I can't be there. Can't believe we are already into December. Even thought presents will be slim this year, I hope to teach my kids the importance of being grateful for what we have.

Thanking my lucky starts for...

1. My family
2. My job
3. A car that runs
4. Spring is right around the corner :)
5. Hot chocolate
6. My iPhone
7. The ability to help a friend
8. The ability to accept that my hair WILL grow back
9. Cheese popcorn
10. New perfume (thanks, Megan)
11. Trouser socks
12. Silly face photo of me and Tori
13. Left over Chinese food
14. Blogs!!!
15. All the creative souls in the world willing to share their gifts

Day 8

2008-12-01T07:46:00.001-05:00

The Vegas countdown begins! We leave Thursday and I can not wait!!! Just the thought of alone time with my husband is enough and then the chance to go somewhere that he has never been doubles the excitement. I am a bit worried about leaving the kids, but I know they will be fine.

Yesterday was a great day, 8 people in my Centergy class. A big step up from last Sunday's whopping zero! I really love the music and the chance to do something that is not only calming, but challenges my strength and flexibility. After class I headed over to my neighbors house and took pictures of them. Bud has struggled with cancer, but has been in good health lately, so I thought now was the time. I had told Martha that I wanted to take their portraits some time ago, but things kept getting in the way. Bud will be 80 in Feb. and I did not want to let another thing stand in the way of spending some time talking and photographing this very special couple. SO glad I took the time!

Grateful For:

1. Time with special people
2. My job
3. Gossip Girl
4. Go Diego Go!
5. Mickey Mouse pajamas
6. The new Jet- Puffed Mallow Bites (chocolate covered mini marshmallows)
7. My fun laptop
8. Photoshop CS3
9. Free Actions
10. Digital Scrapbooking
11. Nestle Hot Chocolate w/mini marshmallows

Day 7

2008-11-27T09:04:00.001-05:00

Happy Turkey Day! Today is society's ultimate day of gratitude. Although, today is the official day of thanks, I would like my children to understand that everyday should be a day of thanks. It's the little things in everyday life that would should recognize and be thankful for. The other thing I have been focusing on lately is the fact that everything is a choice. We each make a conscious decision on how we choose to react to every situation. For instance, as I am typing, my 2.5 year old is whining and crying that he wants to watch Dora. Whining to me is almost as bad as fingernails on a chalk board. However, I am making the choice to not react to his whining. Is it taking everything in my being, YES, but I am waiting it out. OK, he is distracted now and back to Mickey Mouse.

Full of appreciation for:

1. My husband
2. Target brand disinfecting wipes
3. Dora and Diego
4. Orville popcorn
5.Chatterbox journaling fonts
6. Creative people
7. The Pioneer Woman (http://thepioneerwoman.com/) Check out the love story!
8. A message of thanks (http://www.nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/)
9. Sale papers (even though I won't be buying anything)
10. Nestle Hot Chocolate with mini marshmallows
11. The legacy of Randy Pausch
12. Time on my hands!

Day 6

2008-11-26T16:19:00.000-05:00

Feeling great today. Had to weigh in at Weight Watchers and lost another 2.8lbs. This brings my total to 11.2 in 12 weeks. Seems like food plays a very important part in the whole weight loss thing ;)

Wondering who has bar-b-que on Thanksgiving??? Guess what, my in-laws do. That being said, I have purchased a small turkey breast, potatoes and little frozen corn on the cobs. Even though I have no idea how to cook it, we will have turkey at some point this weekend!

Feeling Grateful For:

1. Weight Watchers (woohooo)
2. My mom coming to visit
3. Tamara (my hairstylist)
4. Boar's Head Bologna
5. Really good rolls
6. My crock pot
7. My willingness to try to cook something in my crock pot
8. My boss
9. The fact that I can work from home if I need to
10. SWAPS! I love the Inspired group in yahoo!
11. The ability to step outside my comfort zone
12. A birthday check I am depositing today (sorry Mom!)
13.The new laptop I got at work today
14. My almost trip to Vegas
15. All things digital scrapbooking
16. Photography seminars that broaden my horizons
17. Cameron (http://createbeautydaily.blogspot.com/)for creating beautiful jewelry that make's me want to learn to do that

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Day 5

2008-11-24T19:00:00.000-05:00

So clearly it has taken me a while to feel like posting. Our family has been under the weather with a stomach virus that has hit all of the kids and now Clay has a touch of pneumonia on one of his lungs. Things in my neck of the woods have not been rosy and I have been struggling with posting. This is the whole point of writing a gratitude list. It should be a reminder to be grateful everyday, not just the days when things are all going well. I have fallen down on the job miserably. One thing I have learned lately is that I need to give myself a break. It's not always easy, but I think we should all give ourselves a break. We make mistakes, we screw up and it is ok. When we know better, we do better. I realize that things could be worse, so I thought I should take this opportunity to write my gratitude list.

Things I am grateful for:

1. Lunch with a good girlfriend (thanks Nat!)

2. My iPhone (downloaded a new ringtone, woohoo!)

3. My family

4. Chest X-rays (diagnosed Clay's early pneumonia)

5. My job (too many friends have been laid off)

6. All my craft supplies

7. LoveLife (http://lovelife.typepad.com/)

8. All things photography

9. Crystal Light Peach Tea

10. Tryon House (one great diner!)

11. The sanitize wash on my washing machine

12. Lysol (we have gone through 2 large cans this week)

13. Hand Sanitizer

14. Disinfecting wipes

15. My bed

16. Gossip Girl (my guilty pleasure)

17. Netflix

Day 4

2008-11-12T11:45:00.000-05:00

Today is my almost birthday. I will be 38 years old tomorrow. I have lived longer than my father. It is unimaginable to think of leaving my family at this age. Suicide...it is something that a family never recovers from. I have not recovered from. Election day was the anniversary of my father' death. I was so filled with the excitement of election day that I didn't think of it. I think that's a good thing. The cloud of suicide is always there. Most days the sunshine of my life pushes the cloud away. Other days, it's cloudy and I feel it. To continue the analogy, I think of anger as the fog that was present in so much of my life. Fortunately, I was able to be productive, choose a mate and have children despite this fog. As time has passed and with some therapy, the sunshine has dissipated the fog. A deep sadness at my core is all that remains. I will never be the same because of what he did. My mother will never be the same and my children will miss out because of what he did. I hope he is at peace.

Ok, so on that light note, I would like to shift my focus to my gratitude list for the day.

I am grateful for:

1. A parent assistance website that shows me my kids progress at school

2. Not killing my daughter for getting an F on her report card in Algebra

3. Popcorn from Target

4. My dentist office (bright, cheery and with a TV in each room!)

5. My Kindle (too cool and will continue to show up on my lists)

6. Seeing my old boss (helps me keep things in perspective)

7. Birthday cards

8. Well wishes on Facebook

9. My new corduroy trench coat (thanks Mom!)

10. My new shoes (thanks again Mom!)

11. My husband

12. The bedding at the Hampton Inn (yeah for down comforters and pillows!)

13. My peeps at the gym

14. Kind words when needed most

15. Glide floss

16. My dental hygienist (ok, can you tell I went to the dentist this morning)

Day 3

2008-11-10T14:23:00.000-05:00

Busy weekend at my house. Last football game for Clay, birthday party with mini petting zoo and a win for the Panthers. At the birthday party I practiced some of the things I learned in the class I took on Saturday. It was interesting to apply some of the things I learned in regards to reading the histogram on my camera. Boy, was this a feature I was underutilizing! I wound up with a couple hundred pictures and loaded them on the evite website that they used for the invitation. I actually had one of the mothers ask me if I was doing it professionally or as a hobby. Who knows, today as a hobby, tomorrow as a professional.

Today I am grateful for:

1. Qdobe mexican food
2. The inspiration quotes posted in my cubby
3. Great co-workers who make me laugh
4. mandarin oranges
5. The fact that my husbands retirement $$$ is not invested yet
6. Returning the expensive light meter that I don't really need
7. My friend Beth
8. The new FREE Jessica Sprague class "Stories in Hand" www. jessicasprague.com
9. Daily reminders to think creatively
10. Dr. Morton for using his craft to save my baby
11. Photo books
12. Audiobooks on my iPod

Day 2

2008-11-07T16:29:00.000-05:00

Today is a great day. The weather is beautiful and Pea-Dad was able to play golf. I have been reflecting all day on the photo shoot I did with Rochelle, Tony and Tori last night. I took 120 shots. I was really surprised when I plugged in my memory card and there were that many images. My inexperience shows a bit, but I realize I will only get better with practice. I know the photographs that appeal to me and I think once I am comfortable in understanding light and composition, I will be able to relax in my creative space.

My Gratitude List

1. Freedom (in life, in creativity)
2. The President Elect
3. Lunches that can be expensed!
4. Used but New to Me photography gear
5. My mom in town for the weekend
6. My all day photography class tomorrow
7. My friend Beth
8. Pound cake from my co-workers wife (thanks Donna!)
9.Fun Dip sticks, not the powder!
10. My relationship with Tori (my bonus child)

Day 1 - Life as a Grateful Blogger!

2008-11-06T11:41:00.000-05:00

Hello World! The wonderful ladies on the Yahoo Inspired Group, have truly INSPIRED me! I am now entering the world of blogging. I have been reading the posts from the group and the discussions on creating a blog from scratch and I decided to go full steam ahead. I believe in the Law of Attraction and I know that is why this blog is coming to pass. Sometime ago, I created a blog on Word Press called "Live and Be Grateful". I really believe in the "Gratitude Attitude" and wanted to start expressing it daily through my blog. It was over 6 months ago and I never did anything with it. Then I saw a post from Cameron (http://createbeautydaily.blogspot.com/) mentioning a group keeping a list on their blogs of the things they are grateful for. I took this as a sign. I switched to blogger (cause I saw a lot of cool people use it) and dove right in! So, without further ado, here is Day 1 of my Gratitude Attitude put to the test :)

Today I am Grateful for:

1. Change! (Check out the new Chief of Staff)
2. Kind people who share their knowledge
3. My iPhone, because it's just so darn cool!
4. My husband (best decision I ever made)
5. My relationship with Rochelle (my husband's ex-wife & Tori's mom)
6. The fact that she is going to give me the chance to do my first maternity shoot
7. My ability to apologize and accept when I am wrong
8. Cathy Zielske's BPS class
9. Any Jessica Sprague digital class online
10. My new Kindle (woohoo, thanks mom!)
11. My ability to heal from wounds of the past