Retiring this blog

I am officially retiring this blog. I just don't have the time for it. I am trying to focus my energy and attention towards my photography, so I will be updating my relaxedfitphotography.blogspot.com with the latest happenings with my photography venture.

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog!
Heather

Life according to Cole @ 3

Cole is very entertaining at this age. He is so full of spunk and attitude. He is still all about me, which I know will change quickly.

Here are some things about Cole at this age:

Chicken Donalds or Chicken Burger= McDonalds

Hasa Birthday To You= Happy Birthday To You (I heard this one in the car while he was singing the Happy Birthday song to himself. I suggested that the word was "Happy" and not "Hasa" and he told me I was wrong :)

Favorite Movies: Toy Story, Chicken Little, Monsters, Inc.

Favorite TV Shows: Backyardigans, Little Einsteins, Mickey Mouse and Blue's Clues

Favorite Activities: Blowing bubbles, playing with his cars, driving his big wheels, Going on adventures

185

Body image is a funny thing, it can really consume a person's thoughts. That person being ME! My weight as of today is 185, my weight before I had Clay was 155 and my weight after college on a professional dance team was 140. I am 38 years old and don't want to spend the rest of my life worrying about what I weigh. It seems to be a constant struggle. Do most people worry about this all the time? It seems sad to me. The next phase has begun. I am going to participate in the USMC Mud Run (www.usmcmudrun.com) in September. It's 4.2 miles, 30 obstacles and I don't want to let my team down. So, I have a goal now. I want to be stronger. I want to be leaner and I want to beat this obsession once and for all. I have been saying that I want to be in the best shape of my life by age 40, but why can't it be by age 39. I make the rules and I control my actions. I started on Monday 5/18 and I will continue to document my journey.

A friend of mine had a daily calendar that covered the principles of "The Secret". He gave me the pages when he was done. I was going through them choosing the ones that spoke to me and throwing the others out. I found one that I have been repeating lately. Think good thoughts, speak good words and take good actions. Simple enough don't you think.

Evolve

Caution, Random Thoughts:
Lots going on with me mentally. Hard to put it all down on this blog. There are so many emotions going on inside of me. I think I am having my midlife crisis prematurely. Although I don't perceive it as a bad thing. I just feel like I am on a journey and sometimes I would like to stop and take a rest. However, something inside of me won't let me. I am constantly thinking and questioning and evolving. Here is a quote from Oprah that spoke to me, "The whole point of being alive is to evolve into the complete person your were intended to be."

Affirmations

Haven't felt much like writing lately....

Here is a thought for today.

Affirmations for Release:
I am willing to release my old patterns of fear and insecurity. Today, I embrace confidence. I am willing to release my old patterns of lack and limitations. Today, I embrace the universal abundance. I am willing to release my old patterns of weakness and dependency. Today, I embrace energy and strength. I am willing to release my old patterns of negativity. Today, I see the world filled with creative opportunities. My life is renewed through the cycle of release and acceptance.

Life

• so many possibilities
• full of promise
• full of change
• rapid in it's pace
• subjective
• fulfilling
• disappointing
• varied by perception
• unpredictable
• spectacular
• surprising in it's gifts
• gives back what is put in
• passes by whether you participate of not
• provides infinite lessons for those willing to learn

The Beach

I am fascinated that my husband made more friends in one year at UNC- Pembroke than I did in 4 years at UNC-Charlotte. We are at the beach this weekend for Pea-Dad's fraternity beach weekend and it is BEAUTIFUL. We have an awesome ocean front room for a great rate. One snag, Cole is not a big fan of the beach. I hadn't really thought too much about it, but this is Cole's first visit to the beach since he was a baby. As soon as the sand hit his bare feet, he started crying. Whose kid is he??? Pea-Dad and I both love the beach and hope to someday have a house at the beach. I love putting a low chair right at the edge of the ocean and letting the water hit my feet while I soak up the sun. I like the wet sand squishing through my toes and I like making sand castles. It's just so foreign to me that he doesn't like it. He has spent the bulk of his time with Pea-Dad in the indoor pool while Clay and I have been out on the beach.


Tonight is a big shrimp boil which I can't wait for. NOT! I am not a big fan of shrimp, but the corn on the cob and the potatos should be good. We will most likely leave early afternoon tomorrow, so I am going to try to get up early and soak up the beauty of the beach.



Caution, random thought. Why don't people talk a whole lot about how hard it is to be a parent? Are people ashamed to admit that being a parent isn't always a blessing or a joy?? I think there should be classes in high school and/or college that teach patience, sacrifice, creativity and organization in parenting.

Embrace Change

Embrace change is a phrase I believe my mother taught me and it has served me well. Through out my life I have referred to this phrase often. My work environment is changing, people have been let go, positions have been moved around. Although I feel that I adapt to change well, I still have a headache. Change can be stressful. I joked with my boss recently that I am working on developing a hard outer shell. I am know as the emotional one, which I don't think is a good perception for people to have of me. It is however, who I am. I am an emotional and empathetic person, maybe sometimes to a fault. Although I don't think I want this to change, I do want to do a better job of controlling those feelings at work. We'll see what happens...

Post Easter

A nice Easter weekend has come and gone with only one causality. Poor Coley took a face dive on Sunday and now looks like he went 12 rounds with the pavement. We went to church on Sunday, had a spaghetti dinner (yes, I cooked) and colored Easter eggs.

Now, on to Gratitude....Cole is in the midst of potty training and it is going OK. He is having some number 2 accidents and it has been a bit frustrating. I have not shown my frustration to Cole, but it has me worried. He moved to his new room at school yesterday, so he is now in the red room. His teacher does not seem to be worried about the potty training, so I am trying to have a relaxed attitude about things. I called Dr. Morton's office yesterday and talked to Kathy the nurse. She said that what Cole is experiencing is completely normal for Hirschsprung's patients. The mind body connection is usually not in place until about 4 years old. So, I am trying not to lump him in as the same as all other kids but I also want to know what to expect. This brings me to Gratitude. Mentally I am trying not to spiral into a worry pit about what Cole is going to have to go through. The nurse mentioned that some kids that start school with this problem have to have an enema every night so they don't have accidents at school. Again...spiraling. This is when I really need to have a grateful mind and heart. When did I lose sight of the fact that he no longer has a colostomy bag. I am grateful for every bit of poop that comes out of the right spot. Grateful mind and grateful heart....always!

My Nike + Challenge

I LOVE my latest gadget. I bought a new pair of Nike's and they have a sensor in the bottom of the left shoe. I then take the partner to the sensor and plug it into my iPod Nano. Once I plug in the receiver, the Nike+ menu appears on my iPod and can track my running/walking workout. Once I am done, I plug my Nano into my computer and my workout is uploaded to the Nike+ website where I can track my progress. I HATE running, but this little gadget might just get me to run/jog on a regular basis. I even joined a challenge on the website to go 20 miles in one week. I started yesterday and completed 2 miles. I better get going if I am going to accomplish 20 miles by next Wednesday!

Check it out:
http://nikeplus.nike.com/nikeplus/?sitesrc=uslp

Art that happens to be my life

This is the title of a 12 week online class that I just started today. I am so excited to explore my creativity in the class. As I have mentioned in previous posts, I am on the verge. Of what you might ask, and I can not say. There are so many wonderful things going on in my life and I am trying to focus on those things instead of "sweating the small stuff". Here is a quote from my class that spoke to me today:

That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the task itself has become easier, but that our ability to perform it has improved. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

My Weekend

First I will start out by saying, "Thanks Mom". It was nice to have a mini-moon this weekend with Pea-Dad. Jessica's wedding was beautiful, but spending time alone with Pea-Dad was the best part. Knowing I could be home in 15 minutes if I needed to, also made it a little less stressful for me. It would not have been possible without my mom. I know it is not easy to manage 4 kids (includes the puppy) especially when you only had one. I know it's hard to maintain your patience when there is snot, poop and whining everywhere you turn. Thanks again for making this weekend possible!


(my mom)

Knowing

The title of this post just floated into my mind. It is part of a thought or a feeling that I am trying to inhabit. A knowing belief in myself that I am capable. A knowing that I will achieve the things that I want to, but that it takes time. A knowing that I will be OK... I am smart enough and good enough to do what is right for myself and for my family. This feeling, this anxious being that I have become is the foreshadowing of greater me that I will BE.

Life

What a busy and great weekend we had. Saturday morning had us at a Disney themed birthday party. Jodi is such a talented party thrower. Everything was coordinated so nicely and the kids had a blast.

Saturday afternoon was Clay's first minor league game. It's a little nerve racking with the kids pitching to each other. We lost by one run, but it was good to see him out there. He is still all knees and elbows, but he held his own on the field.

Sunday brought us another adventure with Natalie and Radar. Latta Plantation was so beautiful and the weather was perfect for a long hike through the woods. I was telling someone at work about it and he said, "YOU, went into the woods???". I know that's Natalie's thoughts as well, but it is important to me that the boys get out there and hike and have fun "adventures". I appreciate you Natalie and that you tolerate and encourage our adventures!

Today is Monday and the first day of the rest of my life... Hopefully this little beauty will be in my future. The Canon 5D, I WANT ONE! For just a mere $2,000 it could me mine and all that a full frame digital SLR can bring me :)

My 20 year olf self...

One of the "Inspired" ladies offered a give away on her blog. You had to leave a comment about what you would tell your 20 year self.

Here is what I would tell my 20 year old self...
1. Always say what you mean and mean what you say.
2. Your actions teach people how to treat you.
3. Don't be afraid to admit when your wrong.
4. Accept responsibility if you make a mistake and then move on.
5. If you have a bad feeling about something, it's probably not a good idea.
6. The word NO is a sentence and sometimes no further explanation is needed.
7.Communicate, communicate, communicate. The people around you are not mind readers.
8. Learn and live by the law of attraction
9. Saying the words "I'm sorry" does not mean you are a weak person.
10. Be nice even when you don't feel like it.
11. Stand up for what you believe is right even if it is not popular.
12. Don't let yourself be mistreated
13. Love without fear of loss

Centergy and stuff

I had 13 people in my Centergy class last night and even 2 men. It was great to have that many people in the room trying to increase their strength and flexibility. I am hoping the number continue to increase.

Received my critiques back on Assignment 1 over at www.ppsop.net. I am taking the "Portraits Unplugged" class and it's pretty interesting. It's all about seeing the light and using just your natural light source. Very challenging for me.

Speaking of natural light, here are a few photos I took of our little friend Megan.

What do your initials say about you? (Thanks Natalie)

You Are Strong and Independent

When You Are Comfortable: You are a powerful, competitive person. While you want to succeed, you are also able to find balance in your life. People see you as self-sufficient. They are impressed by how much you are able to do on your own. When You Are At Your Best: You are a strong person. You're driven and assertive. Success is yours, as much as you want it. People find you to be clever and spirited. You're a bit saucy too... delightfully so! When You Are in a Social Setting: You are a carefree, adventurous person. You love excitement, and you enjoy being in a changing, dynamic environment. People find you to be funny, generous, and competent. You're well spoken, and you know how to wow people with your words.

What Do Your Initials Say About You?

Girl Moods

Sometimes it is so clearly illustrated to me that men are fixers. They want to make things better and solve all the problems so you can be happy again. Last night when Tori came home she was in a grumpy mood. Her day had just not gone well. She went immediately in the shower and when she got out, Pea-Dad must have asked her 50 different ways what was wrong. She was very vague and just kept saying nothing really. I finally went to him and said "leave her alone". She clearly didn't want to talk about in and when I spoke to her this morning it was really just a "Girl Mood". I know a bit stereotypically, but I'm not sure men can understand that we sometimes are just in a mood.

Fun Times...NOT

So, I am spending the day in the hospital with Pea-Dad. He had some tightening in his chest late yesterday afternoon that really scared him. I was on my way home with Cole, so his brother took him up to the emergency room. He was admitted and has been undergoing tests since last night. No one seems to know what is going on and it is very frustrating..AAaaaarrrrggghhh
It seems very suspicious to me that he breaks out in this terrible rash 2 days ago, has the hershey squirts and then gets tightening in his chest. Is this the perfect storm or what???

I love my life! During trying times is when it is most important to reflect on what is good in your life.

Geocaching you ask...

What a beautiful and fun weekend minus Pea-Dad getting some weird rash and the poops. Ok, back to the great weekend. After having the plague in our house, it was so nice to open all of the windows get the fans going and Lysol and Clorox wipe in a frenzy. Cole, Tink and I walked up to the baseball field and watched the tail end of Clay's first baseball practice of the season. We then had a visit from Natalie, Lance and Radar who introduced us to Geocaching. It was our fun yet brief adventure to find some treasure. The boys had a blast and Cole kept saying he wanted to go on another adventure. Want to know more about Geocaching, go to www. geocaching.com.

Sunday I was fortunate enough to visit baby Megan and take some really cute shots of her. I will be posting some later. I also started a new blog (although no content yet) for Relaxed Fit Photography. I think I will post most of my photography fun there. I am a work in progress and this is just one more step in realizing my better creative self.

Grateful for my life and for another day on earth :)

Haze

I have been in a haze since Friday. Cole has been very sick with a virus and let's just say it hasn't been pretty! Here we are on Thursday and he is still not 100% yet. I am still participating in the Project 52 challenge over at jenwilsondesigns.com. I love the community over there as they are so supportive and encouraging. Here are a couple of layouts from the last two weeks.

Quote of the Day

"The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one. "- Mark Twain

Today this quote is really speaking to me.

Resilience

Today over at http://spraguelab.squarespace.com/, I am trying to win a free class. In order to be in the running for the free class, you had to post a link to your favorite photo and tell why. This was an easy choice for me. This picture of Cole is from March 14, 2007. This is the day after he got out of the hospital after his 5th and final surgery and it is the day before his 1st birthday. The stuffed animal is one he received in the hospital from a group of high school kids that were visiting the children in the hospital. The purpose of this photo shoot was to send a picture with a thank you note to the kids, which I did. However, this photo turned out to mean so much more to me as I look at it periodically. It is a reminder of all we went through as well as a reminder of how resilient children are. You would never know by looking at this picture all that Cole endured to get to this point. His amazing spirit is so evident to me and his smile reminds me what an incredible creation he is.

More Project 52

I am so loving this challenge over at Jen Wilson Designs. It is really helping me document moments and stories. I have printed them out and created an album which makes it more tangible for me. I have enjoyed posting my layout in the Jen Wilson gallery as well as the Jessica Sprague gallery. Let me tell you, if you are every feeling down, just post something in a gallery and you get lots of positive comments. It's amazing how generous people are with kind words in this hobby. I really enjoy reading what people write even if it's only a few words. I have made an effort to start commenting on more layouts because I want someone else to have those same feelings. So in the spirit of kind comments, I would like to encourage everyone to go out into the world and say nice things to people. I am going to follow that plan myself!

Valentines Day and Gratitude

OK, so if you haven't noticed I've stopped adding lists of things I am grateful for. I have decided to elaborate more on specific things than on creating a list. One of the things I am most grateful for is my choice of husbands. I really picked a good one and I am eternally grateful for that. Sometimes I am amazed that with all of my poor relationship choices in the past, I was able to get this one right. Everything isn't always sunshine and roses, but I know without a doubt he loves me and has made some major compromises in our marriage to make me happy. With Valentines day tomorrow and all of the focus and pressure to do something great for your loved one, I can sit back and relax in the knowing that nothing additional is required of me. As corny as it sounds, everyday is Valentines day. Not always a roses and candy Valentines day, sometimes just a kiss or an I love you kind of Valentines day, but a Valentines day none the less. Today, go out an celebrate life and your loved one even though it is NOT Valentines day yet :)

Almost 9!

I love this picture of Clay. It is hard to believe he is almost 9 years old. It seems like just yesterday I was bringing him home from the hospital. Making all my rookie parenting mistakes with him. He is really an incredible person. So smart, creative and talented. He is at an age right now where everything is a test. Pushing limits is his specialty. Sometimes I feel like I am failing miserably at being his mother. I look at this picture of him and think what an amazing creation.

This is the year...

This is the year to do! I am really trying to focus on collecting less and doing more. With that in mind, I am participating in the Project 52 challenge over at http://www.jenwilsondesigns.com/. She is one of my favorite digital scrapbooking designers and I have purchased quite a bit of her designs in the past. I have not used them to actually scrap anything, but I have COLLECTED quite a bit. So by participating in this challenge, it is forcing me to DO one digital layout a week. The creative team provides the parameters for the layout and I have to post my layout in two galleries. The best part is there is a deadline each week that I have to stick to. I have completed 2 weeks so far in this 13 week challenge. So without further ado, here are week 1 & 2 layouts.

Next on the agenda is my trip to San Francisco for work. I leave tomorrow and will not be back until Saturday afternoon. Long flight, but great city!

Now for all things awesome in my life:

Thank you husband for being you

Thank you mother for an awesome visit (and pictures)

Thank you new puppy for continuing to bring us happiness (and poop where it shouldn't be)

Thank you job for helping us pay our bills

Thank you gym for being there even though I have been avoiding you

Thank you friends for being there even when we don't talk everyday

Thank you Crystal Light for making Peach Tea

Thank you Cameron for making my 2009 word necklace

Thank you GOD

Just wanted to share

Tinkerbell is now 3lbs!

2009

Wow, it's been a week and 2 days since my last post. Time seems to be flying by so fast.
Today, I have been thinking about what this year will hold for me. I continue to be surrounding by a feeling of change. I feel like I am on the cusp of major creative changes in my life. On the Yahoo Inspired group, we have been sharing what our word for 2009 is. The word I have chosen is "Aspire". This word seemed to jump out at me in my head. It seemed to encompass my feelings of wanting more. I would like to fulfill my potential this year. I want to feel like I have accomplished something at the end 2009. I want to reflect and be proud of my accomplishments. I want to feel more settled in my own skin instead of feeling a restless intensity that seems to be boiling just under the surface.

Always thankful for....

My husband
My children
My dogs
Phish Food ice cream
Candy Hearts
Nestle Hot Chocolate w/mini marshmallows
Project 52 (http://thecreativelife.typepad.com/blog/2009/01/project-52-week-one.html)
Digital Photography School (http://digital-photography-school.com/?awt_l=7vPHS&awt_m=1bMpxUbB4LkfGf)
All things Fleece!
The Gayle King Show on XM Radio

Happy New Year!

Welcome 2009! I know this is going to be a year of change, a renaissance. It has been a little while since I posted and a lot has happened in the last couple of weeks. Christmas has come and gone and in a very peaceful way. Pea-Dad is now off of his walker and on to using a cane. He still can not drive but has been getting around with the help of some friends and family. We added a new addition to our family and her name is Tinkerbell. She is a Shih-Poo mix and weighs only 1.5 lbs. We brought her home on 1/2 and have been spoiling her ever since.

Cole also had an adventure over the holiday break that included a total of 11 stitches. I am amazed that Clay has made it through 8 years with no stitches and Cole is 2 and has now had 11 stitches (I am not counting the 5 surgeries in the first year of his life :). I would like to continue to recognize the things that I am grateful for in every post of 2009. I think it helps me to remind me how lucky I am. Full of Gratitude For: Our new puppy A husband's healing hip (like the alliteration) My health Oprah's Best Life Week My 2009 Word My creative spirit Popcorn Chocolate Group Power Bubbles (and the distraction they provide during a 2 year old's stressfull visit to the emergency room) Kind doctors who show patience when training their interns (emerg. room visit) Aunt Annette (nana-ette) Red cream soda